Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Best pies in London

Meat pies. Meat pies. Meat pies. Human meat pies.

Why not? Meat pies made of real human meat. Perhaps a possible outcome of human cloning (aside from the obvious breakthroughs in cloning technology, medicine, et cetera), perhaps a side effect of overpopulation. Sure, ‘slightly’ immoral, and a little risky, but otherwise healthy.

Biologically speaking, we get energy from almost anything we eat. What we need besides energy is ‘building blocks’ – chemical compounds that our body can use to build, rebuild and/or restore itself. Most of these compounds come from the food we eat. Some foods lack certain ‘building blocks’ that other foods have, but there is a food that pretty much every single substance we need to survive and develop – common man. He has already synthesized all the substances we would be creating anyways, eating him would basically mean using his body’s work for our own benefit. Since he needed the very same substances we do (before his early demise), we get all the substances we need from a single food – human meat pies. There are naturally a few exceptions where the chemical compounds break down before or during our digestive process, in which case those compounds can be rebuilt, as the materials for it, the results of the breaking down, are still in the food. A very efficient way of eating.

Sure, there is some risk of human diseases (such as the one that made waves killing the Kara tribe, though as much as I understand, that was caused by people eating the brains), but pretty much the same risk exists when eating any other food. Common sense dictates we cook the meat, we boil the eggs. We do that for a reason, and not just to make it easier to digest. Cooking and boiling is a very efficient method of killing bacteria and other ‘evil’ life forms in the food. So the risk of catching an illness from human meat pies should not be any higher than catching a similar disease from pork pies.

The morality of it can be questioned, especially because finding the suitable human meat (it has to volunteer, right?) can be rather difficult. If it tastes bad, add ketchup. Also, I am not saying you should start killing people to make meat of them, I am just stating the obvious – it is not as bad as people think. But it ain’t exactly good either.

And yes, this is because of Sweeney Todd.


  1. Indeed there is no place like London!
    Don´t forget that when you are dead you cannot complain that others eat parts of you. In crises people have done it in quite a few occasions. There is also the point when humans understand there are way too many of us and we stop helping each other and let others die. A natural reaction that helps to select the better ones and survive as a species. If there are not enough resources we should lower the amount of consumers or everyone in that community dies. I don´t see us moving to other planets any time soon so death is the only solution as sad as it sounds. Yes, I do think we are close to the edge when Earth cannot feed all human beings. What we shall do only time shows.

    1. I'm guessing quite a few of us will perish. But it is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better.

      I like your mindset about death - once it arrives we don't really care about it. We care about it a moment before it comes, and that's all the worrying one really needs about death.

      "Death is not the enemy. Death simply is."